Cybersecurity Humor Fan Gifts

"They say you should beware of attachments."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Airport Security.

'Mommy -- Jimmy just wrote his first computer virus!'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

How to create a password you can remember...

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

'Hello, security.'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

"Infecting their computers with the Pillage&Plunder Virus just doesn't give the same satisfaction as actually doing it."

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

Woman rushing her computer to the doctor.

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"I think we're named after computer passwords."

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

"Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files."

'We've given up on anti-virus software in favour of this!'

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

'You need a better password. Everybody will be able to guess you password as 'woof'.'

"No need to set out traps, I'm leaving. You don't have Wi-Fi in this dump."

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight

'Floppy Disk Horror Movie.'

'Judging by that old fashioned light bulb, your idea must be outdated.'

Our genius techie kid is hacking your bank account while your read this.

Beware of the teddy

'I got a tool to remove malicious malware...'