Secularism Supporter Gifts

Spinoza

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Man blending in to his chair is reading Optical Illusion Monthly magazine.

'So, that's how squirrels find their buried food?'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

'I really can't think of a blessed thing to preach about this morning, so I'll entertain questions from the floor.'

"It's all hypothetical, of course, but how much wood do you think you could chuck?"

House of Wishful Thinking

"Easter and Halloween are my two favorite zombie-related holidays."

Queen reigning.

Atheist United - A Non-Prophet Organization

Beggars on the street.

'Not ANOTHER pub boarded up!'

Carl thought Jesus was the answer...

"Say your prayers, liturgies, Tefilah, Daily Salat, Sacred Mantra, Ritual Incantation or the secular affirmation of your choice, Varmint!”

116 DAYS WITHOUT A COMPLIMENT

"It's a trap, Gary! Run!"

"Look, why don’t you just come down and talk to him? He wants to make up."

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

Amedeo Modigliani

"Come on. If you sell beer, you must sell peanuts."

Atheism inc. - A Not-For-Prophet Organisation

"It's not your fault ... squirrels have heart attacks all the time. Pretty sure."

"It's true we like our members to be regular givers, but irregular givers are certainly welcome."

"When Daddy goes by, make sure he can see how bored we are."

'How come I never see you in church?'

"Ugh! The estate agency assured us Christianity was in decline."

"If atheism is good enough for dogs, it's good enough for you."

"It would be terrible if atheists ran things. No weekends."