Secular Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"It would be terrible if atheists ran things. No weekends."

"You call this a constitution?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

Dogma

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"That's our new church mascot."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Please take your receipt!'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

A woman in prayer

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

Finger puppets in church.

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"Holy moly!"

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

Pre-nuptual Nativity

Nativity - The sitcom

Male On Sunday

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'