Secular Humanist Gifts

"We met through Secular Humanist Mingle."

Non-Denominational Carols

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

Cat Seance

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"Your husband says BOO!"

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"You're on mute."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

Spiritual Show Observed by the Grim Reaper.

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

I am one with stupid.

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

Walt Whitman sounds his barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'