Secular Humanist Pillows

"We met through Secular Humanist Mingle."

Non-Denominational Carols

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

'Your deceased husband keeps saying: don't call him. He'll call you.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"Many of us are worrying, Brother Daniel, that you've become too clothes conscious."

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"Your husband says BOO!"

Cat Seance

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

"You're on mute."

"Restless spirit, we don't know who or what you are, but thank you for your amazing Wi-Fi, and for keeping the signal strong."

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

I am one with stupid.

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

Spiritual Show Observed by the Grim Reaper.

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'You act surprised.'

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

"...The Spirits are out at the moment, but if you'd like to leave a message...."

Walt Whitman sounds his barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.