Secular Thinker Pillows

Carl thought Jesus was the answer...

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

reincarnated worm...

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

'Those are the Divinity students.'

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

Thomas Cranmer

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

Pastor's Bumper Sticker: Save the Congregation

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

"God's sent us some chocolates."

'Get an afterlife!'

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"I don't see HIS name on it."

'Do you ever wonder if we'll evolve into creationists?'

10 Commandments Exceptions.