Secret Explorer T-Shirts

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

New York Netherworld

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

Bird Bath.

Man to date about many self-portraits on his wall: 'Self-realization is where I'm headed.'

"Every time I explore the corners of my mind, I have the urge to dust."

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

Amateur Palmist

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"My job went remote, so I got two more remote jobs are started secretly travelling the world."

Paranormal Fair: 'Closed due to unforeseen circumstances'

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

"Adolescencia"

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

'I just feel so used all the time.'

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

"Scientists believe the mysterious asteroid, known as 'Oumaumau', may be a space probe, a discarded solar sail or a huge alien turd."

Myths and Other Urban Legends

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

"Papi! Papi! I figured it out! I know exactly what I'm gonna be when I grow up!"

After a lifetime of searching, Leonard finds himself.

'How am I doing?'

Psychiatry. Why go on a voyage of self-discovery when I can just Google myself?