Secret Navigator T-Shirts

'It's my husband. . . quick, under the bed..'

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

'Are we there yet?'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

"I am not asking for directions."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Battery Lighthouse

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

Titanic: How's my steering.

"Ya, right. Who needs a web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"This translation app isn't working."

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

Set sail

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

"You are here"

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"