Secret Life Explorer T-Shirts

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

Psst! Stay in character!

'I love our hideaway. I only wish we could find it.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

"Great, now we're lost."

'I wish I were your age again, and knew what I know now.'

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

Highway of Life. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.

"You've reached the consciousness-raising call center. For the meaning of life, press 1. For the secret to happiness, press 2. For the joke of the day, press 3."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"My job went remote, so I got two more remote jobs are started secretly travelling the world."

Jasper's Limo Service.

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.

"Holly and Michael were growing envious of their son's imaginary friend… Rickey and me are going to the Knicks game with Bruce Springsteen!"

"It's a wheeble or some such thing, but still no sign of a deoderant."

Gigolo Diary

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

'It all started in my previous life, doctor.'

"Stephen wants to be a fireman, Emily a doctor, and Matthew plans to take a few years off to find himself."

'You do realise we are going to have to kill you!'

How?

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

The meaning of life...

Maze life.

'My whole life to date catalogued - so when I pop my clogs, those who follow will know what they are chucking away <tsk>.'

'If I were you, I'd start doing those things on your 'Things to do before you die' list.'

Life's Directions

Follow your bliss. The obstacle is the path. If you aim for it, you are turning away from it. Zen GPS.

"I can see that in your past life you were also a gullible schmo easily taken in by charlatans."