Secret Documents Aficionado Gifts

"Here's our mission statement. Read it, commit it to memory and then eat it."

Archival Warfare

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."

JAMES BONDING

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

'Don't you ever get tired of all the whispering?'

Top Secret Files

"Here is the one pager we all agreed on..."

"I'd like you to join my professional network on LinkedIn."

Declaration of Independence. Legend has it that John Hancock signed his name extra large to annoy King George. The quill must have come from a mocking bird!

Watergate is just the tip of the iceberg phobia. 'I have here secret government documents that describe the events leading up to Custer's Last Stand.'

Secret Identity Theft.

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"For goodness sake brother. Haven't you finished that note to the milkman yet?"

'We've uncovered your birth certificate,'

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

Area 51 Shaed of Gray - No Trespassing

Police witness appeal for grassing.

'You're 40+, your looks are gone and you're invisible to men. How would you like a career as a contract killer for the CIA?'

Monks form copier service.

'I'm sorry sir. I'm afraid you can't see the menu. It's top secret.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"Sorry honey. I can't sleep. I'm going to copy and collate for awhile."

Learning curve: 'Your book was crap!'

'I'm here for jumping my bond... Bail bond.'

'The first thing this joint needs is a password. It's gotta be at least 8 characters long, and contain a combination of upper-case letters, lower-case letters, and numbers. Any suggestions?'

"It's hard to get good help these days."

Government "Information" Agency.

'This where the meeting for the order of the salmon bowl is?