Secret Art Collector Gifts

Private Viewing

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Romantic Giraffes

(Camel paintings)

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

Children's artwork exhibition.

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"He's an abstract artist."

A Tumble Cow

Art Gallery.

"Caricatures $20"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"I'm sick of the same old thing. How about frosting and sprinkles?"

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Mouse returns home from work.

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'