Art Collector Wannabe Gifts

A lot of auctioneers

Warhol Exhibit

Great Chinese Dynasties

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Romantic Giraffes

(Camel paintings)

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Wagging Dog

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Madame Rejane- Famous French Actress in the Part of Madame Sans Gene

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Giant Monster in Bath

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"Now this I get."

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

'Pray for me.'

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

Ralph Rackstraw HMS Pinafore

EU: Behind the scenes.

First we thought the apes would conquer the world...When in reality we've been busy mining the end of the world all along.

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

Art Gallery.

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'