Secret Art Collector T-Shirts

Private Viewing

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

(Camel paintings)

Romantic Giraffes

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Children's artwork exhibition.

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

Art Gallery.

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

"Caricatures $20"

A Tumble Cow

When cartoonists drink too much coffee.

"He's an abstract artist."

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

"I'm sick of the same old thing. How about frosting and sprinkles?"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

Elton John

"I read 'Art News.'"

Mouse returns home from work.

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'