"What is it with saucepans and your son Ned, Mrs Kelly?"
Collector Of Unusual Art T-Shirts
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Great Chinese Dynasties
"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."
'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'
(Camel paintings)
Romantic Giraffes
"You're on a what?!"
Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure
"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."
"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."
Use your imagination.
Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'
Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip
"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"
Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.
"We're odd looking but just as good."
Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.
A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.
"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."
The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."
Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing
Art Gallery.
Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!
"He's an abstract artist."
"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."
T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong
Dog admiring hairless dog calendar
"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."
A Tumble Cow
'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'
"I'm sick of the same old thing. How about frosting and sprinkles?"
'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'
"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."
"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."
"I read 'Art News.'"
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