Second Chance Lovers Gifts

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

Scarecrow jumps out of a birthday cake and then catches on fire.

Goodyear Blimp flying round globe.

'Yes, I would like to go on a second honeymoon, provided it was with my second husband!'

Factory Rejects Inc.

What a success story! It says this guy was in prison and now owns a corporation! Ah, he went from pen to inc.

"Yes I can read palms and if you don't remove yours from my thigh, you'll be reading my palm with your face!"

'Your divorce was so mature, balanced, rational...you want to throw that all away with a reconciliation?'

'How was I to know the doctor's license was only a baseball card?'

Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"This job involves travel? Let me call my parole officer and OK it with him."

Pandora’s Boxing Glove

Second marriage vows.

"My wife wants to spend Halloween with her first husband."

'Money's no object, lad! Whatever you want, you can have, and everything's available in our fully stocked toy department on the third floor...'

"So the next time you see the girl you wish to impress, just be yourself. Fulfillment comes when you know who you truly are and where you want to go in life. Thanks for calling Tia Carmen's psychic hotline!"

Love is the Answer - For a Practical Demonstration Call...

How many Christmas gifts did you get this year? I got over a dozen. Seriously? No single, childless adult with very little family and only one friend can possibly get that many Christmas gifts. Unless ... by "got," you meant ... I had Amazon wrap them all. I like to be surprised.

'If I could live my life over, I'd need a really big loan.'

Bob walked away from the halfway house – but only got halfway.

Garbage dump / Used gems.

Class Reunion. Remember when we all used to be the same age?

"Oh, definitely, I feel there's a reason I was given a second chance."

Dating club outside divorce court.

'OK, you don't look at the one I'm getting and I won't look at the one you're getting me.'

Two manly robots learn to be sensitive.

"Fancy meeting you here."

"Did you really think this wasn't going to happen?"

Field of Broken Dreams

"My husband and I were divorced too young. It didn't last."

'Three letters of recommendation - do you have any from anyone other than your former wardens?'