Second Time Around Romantic Gifts

"My wife wants to spend Halloween with her first husband."

'Sigh. . .You work life balance includes me as well you know.'

"Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio of sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

Waterfall of Disappointment

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"You never giggle and read cartoon captions to me anymore."

'We're conducting a survey to find out how many married couples still have that old feeling.'

'Of all the people I know, I like running with you the best Angela.'

I Drew a Hot Guy

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"Mother, I'd like you to meet a member of the armed forces."

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"You again, Paul?! Hey, you must know this ceremony inside out!"

Proposal on a snowboard

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

"If it gets boring, I can tell you how I borrowed money from the Mob, and how, right now, we;re actually on the run from them."

"...get in there and make my post docs fall in love with their research."

'My husband is all work and no play. Do you have anything that smells like an office?'

A tightrope walker balances while holding hearts.

"Whoa! That's a little clingy."

'THERE'S my mojo.'

"I still can't believe that you've booked a table for two on our anniversary you old romantic!"

"I don't want to rush things. Instead of hugging, why don't we just hold hands?"

"Why don't you join the Army."

Border Security

"Flowers? That's so arrogant!"

Garbage dump / Used gems.

"My husband and I were divorced too young. It didn't last."

Dating club outside divorce court.

'A second honeymoon? - Are you asking for a do-over?'

"He moved to Berlin to pursue something creative he would be bad at here."

Tunnel of Long Term Resentment

Man on Oldflamesreunited.com website.