Second-hand Romantic Gifts

Garbage dump / Used gems.

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

It's great for pulling the birds!

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"While he was in Paris, Warren knew Picasso, Miró, Hemingway, Stravinsky, Cocteau, and Fitzgerald. Nothing ever came of it."

'Like many studs of my generation, I have always had a love affair with the harmonica.'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

Crap others threw out

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'Oh, the amenity!'

"So, you're still doing the Western thing."

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

I Drew a Hot Guy

"In my day, we had grand pianos randomly fall from the sky!"

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

'For Sale Used Only Once.'

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

Only used once

Garage Sales Anonymous

You always wanted a cute leather jacket

Vintage Shop: Used puppets for sale - no strings attached.

"I'd like an engagement ring that declares my uncompromising love...for under fifty bucks."

Idiot! I told you there'd be a catch to buying a tank on eBay

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

"My sick friend owns a second-hand store...got any used get well cards in good condition?"

Yard sale - Lots of pre-antiques.

"Is there an emojis that says 'remember when we used to have a cocktail and conversation before dinner?'"

All-you-can-wear.

"Do you have anything new. . ?"