Second-hand Romantic Gifts

Garbage dump / Used gems.

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

It's great for pulling the birds!

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"While he was in Paris, Warren knew Picasso, Miró, Hemingway, Stravinsky, Cocteau, and Fitzgerald. Nothing ever came of it."

'Like many studs of my generation, I have always had a love affair with the harmonica.'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"So, you're still doing the Western thing."

'Oh, the amenity!'

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

I Drew a Hot Guy

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

'For Sale Used Only Once.'

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

"In my day, we had grand pianos randomly fall from the sky!"

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

Garage Sales Anonymous

You always wanted a cute leather jacket

Only used once

Vintage Shop: Used puppets for sale - no strings attached.

Idiot! I told you there'd be a catch to buying a tank on eBay

"Is there an emojis that says 'remember when we used to have a cocktail and conversation before dinner?'"

All-you-can-wear.

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

"My sick friend owns a second-hand store...got any used get well cards in good condition?"

Yard sale - Lots of pre-antiques.

"Do you have anything new. . ?"

"You spelled 'garbage' wrong"