Second Chance Enthusiast Gifts

'Yes, I would like to go on a second honeymoon, provided it was with my second husband!'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Surprise!"

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

"Instead of playing with that boring ball you got me, I updated your computer's operating system, I cleaned your keyboard and ran an antivirus scan."

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

A kid is about to be grabbed by an oversized claw.

Tuna Surprise $4.95. You have to admit - he's pretty surprising!

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

'A kissogram for the boss? It must be a mistake.'

"Woof"

"Yes, a surprise engagement. Even my husband-to-be here didn't know..."

Surprise Party

'I'll do half of it.'

'And tomorrow we will be having a surprise test.'

"Mr. Dankin, the plumber will see you now."

Leaving America to chance, the USA being eaten by a die

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

'Oh, you nut! I thought we agreed we weren't going to make a big fuss over birthdays anymore.'

'Well, on the bright side, we DID manage to keep it a surprise.'

It's the little surprises that keep a marriage exciting...

Only used once

'It's a surprise present for my husband - He's expecting golf clubs!'

Happy Birthday MUM!

What a success story! It says this guy was in prison and now owns a corporation! Ah, he went from pen to inc.

'Reinventing myself.'

The disgusting, embarrassing sound of a whoopie cushion...