Seat Discomfort Survivor Gifts

'If God had meant us to fly, he would have made airline seats big enough to sit in.'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty.

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

Desert crawler rescued by truck that won't start.

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

"It's mine—and I'd appreciate your not looking out of it."

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

Gym. Weight Room. This must be sculpting my body --- All my muscles feel like putty. (Published previously on September 4, 2010).

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

'Don't be frightened, he's only been 'n' gone 'n' done his back in again.'

"Now I'd like you to practice putting your seat into recline."

Guy hanging in dungeon to other: 'Are you sure this chiropractor is licensed?'

"Lately, when I wake up, I'm stiff as a board!"

Finding yourself

"Next time, try warming up with a little idle speculation before jumping to a conclusion."

On frigid mornings I go to my car, turn the heated seat up to high, then head out for a freshly-baked cinnamon roll. Ah, warm buns!

"No, thanks, Tex - it makes me queasy just watching you."

'Hey! Suddenly, my back feels way better! Weird...'

Back seat race car drivers.

"You're lucky, me, I can't read when travelling: I get motion sickness..."

'I've never killed a deer before but I'll take a shot at it.'

'Your call is important to us - please hold while we connect you to an advisor.'

'Pardon my back.'

"Whoah, a love seat? Things are moving just a bit too fast."

"Chatting or no chatting?"

'Try to relax.'

If...Then....

"Looks like my car won't start...I guess I'll have time for that beer after all!"

"I've done all I can. Take it home and read it The Little Engine That Could."

"My parents never talk to me about S-E-X – all the talk about is S-A-Ts."

"So, how's the back?"

Learner Drivers