Travel Discomfort Warrior Gifts

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

Injured backpacker.

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

'Ecchh! Six weeks on the road! - Lousy food, lousy motels. . . but there's good, too. . . like heading back home.'

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

'If God had meant us to fly, he would have made airline seats big enough to sit in.'

Uh oh. What if someone on the flight wears their unlucky underwear?!

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

"Back at work and ready to go-get-'em after a two-week vacation at O'Hare."

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

"I just remembered... I forgot to turn off the sink."

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Product Recall (aeroplane)

Excess Baggage: Anyone who thinks business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

Excess Baggage: The airlines will hold your connecting flight just long enough so you can watch it leave without you.

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

'Another one of your screw-ups! You were supposed to get us a rental car!'

This definitely qualifies as a holiday from hell.

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

Excess Baggage: The conception of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

'I don't think he is a confident flyer.'

'It's alright, it's only simulated sick.'

'Hello, Dad? You were right about the world. I want to come home.'

'If you're teaching him how to drive, what are you doing back there?'

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. It's print out says 'I Quit!'.

'Hey mister, you can't smoke in here.'

Excess Baggage: Airport checkpoints we'd all like to see...

"I tho tired."

'I was less stressed before we came on holiday.'

'Happy 18th birthday, son, and congrats on finally overcoming your bout with childhood obesity.'