Sick Travel Survivor Gifts

'It's alright, it's only simulated sick.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

Injured backpacker.

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'What's the diagnosis?' - '*Cough*' - 'It's not good, I'm afraid.' - 'Tell me. I have to know.' - 'You have man flu, Peel.' - 'Why, God? Why?!!' - 'I'm so sorry.' -

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

'I'm glad you two have finally met.'

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

"Back at work and ready to go-get-'em after a two-week vacation at O'Hare."

Lost luggage turning up on Mars.

"I've lost my voice. Is it contagious?"

Excess Baggage: Anyone who thinks business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

"Get me this! Get me that! Get me..."

Transmitting Swine Flu.

"Folsom's seasick, sir."

How to deal with rude customers.

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

'Another one of your screw-ups! You were supposed to get us a rental car!'

'You decided not to join the navy because you get seasick?'

"I hate travel."

Excess Baggage: Anyone who think business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

'Memo to staff: when using an apple to practice giving flu shots, don't leave it where I'll find it!'

"Wait a minute ... this isn't my timeshare!"

This definitely qualifies as a holiday from hell.

Embarrassed man finds a skimpy dress in his suitcase.

'The good news is that we're going to name the disease after you.'

'Hello, Dad? You were right about the world. I want to come home.'

"Actually, I've been a travel bug as long as I can remember."

"How am I supposed to enjoy being home sick if you keep bringing me my homework?"

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. It's print out says 'I Quit!'.

'Happy 18th birthday, son, and congrats on finally overcoming your bout with childhood obesity.'

Excess Baggage: Airport checkpoints we'd all like to see...

"Sorry Ma'ma, but I got caught inside a car for a few hours. I just managed to escape when they opened the window: Where am I?"