Seasonal Swapper Gifts

The first day of spring has finally arrived! The only think I'll miss about winter is curling up under a warm blanket straight out of the dryer on a frigid night.

'This time of year it's all that keeps me sane! I keep the magazine in the bathroom and I've about wore the ink off the pages!'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

A guide to seasons in the North East

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

'I made them during the blizzard in January. Whad'ya say we go liven up my sister's pool party?'

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

"I made him out of my mom's mashed potatoes. Since there's no snow, I had to improvise."

"Me, I'm lazy, so I wouldn't seek an endless summer, but an endless winter. I so wish I could migrate to hibernate twice a year..."

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

'I'm working through the Summer as usual: I take my annual leave in Winter you see...'

"How?"

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

'Trick or treat.'

'Any bargains going South?' (Bird asks travel agent).

"How can I word this Christmas card to my boss without wishing him a merry Christmas?"

Vernal Pond: Here today. . . gone tomorrow.

"Can you believe it? A couple of page-turners, one affair, and, wham - it's Labor Day."

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

'First snowdrop.'

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

Signs of Fall

"I realize you want the leaves to finally fall, but I doubt shaking the tree is going to work."

Now we wait for the snow.