Seasonal Swapper Gifts

'This time of year it's all that keeps me sane! I keep the magazine in the bathroom and I've about wore the ink off the pages!'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

A guide to seasons in the North East

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

"I made him out of my mom's mashed potatoes. Since there's no snow, I had to improvise."

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

"Me, I'm lazy, so I wouldn't seek an endless summer, but an endless winter. I so wish I could migrate to hibernate twice a year..."

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'I'm working through the Summer as usual: I take my annual leave in Winter you see...'

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

"How?"

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

'Trick or treat.'

'Any bargains going South?' (Bird asks travel agent).

"Can you believe it? A couple of page-turners, one affair, and, wham - it's Labor Day."

"How can I word this Christmas card to my boss without wishing him a merry Christmas?"

Vernal Pond: Here today. . . gone tomorrow.

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

'First snowdrop.'

'My goodness, is it fall already, Ms. Smyrka?'

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

Hotdish.

"I realize you want the leaves to finally fall, but I doubt shaking the tree is going to work."

Signs of Fall

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."