Seasonal Sunshine Skeptic Gifts

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"I don't believe in you!"

'I hate all holidays!'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"It'h thnowing. . .me no like thnow in thpring. . . "

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

"Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day!"

"It's a bit overrated really isn't it?"

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

"I don't think he believes I've been a good little boy. He told me to go home and go to my room."

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?

"I ran out of vacation days, so I didn't fly south this winter."

"When Santa went electric they either diversified or got furloughed."

'I refuse to accept that it's really winter until the very last leaf's fallen from the trees'

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

"I'm just saying we might be jumping the gun just a tiny bit on the outside seating."

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

"My God, do you realize the year's half over?"

"The interrogation was brutal, but the bright lights really helped relieve my seasonal affective disorder."

Wrong Side of the equator.

"I hate the beach. The minute you go into the water your phone gets ruined."

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

"Bah, humbug! It's not just for Christmas anymore."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

"I want to believe in Santa Claus, but it's tough in this post-fact, fake news era."