Sunny Skeptic Gifts

"I hate the beach. The minute you go into the water your phone gets ruined."

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"I'm not sure I like your working vacations."

Rational explanations

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"I hate it when they dress you with their eyes."

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"When Santa went electric they either diversified or got furloughed."

Annoying things about the beach.

A snowman protests the sun.

"I ran out of vacation days, so I didn't fly south this winter."

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

"I got the grant! I'm researching whether or not money can buy happiness."

"My God, do you realize the year's half over?"

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

'Every Sunday I thank God that I'm an atheist!'

"Too sunny for you. Too dry. Whatever next?"

"Sorry, I really don't believe in it...I'm a Scorpio and you know that we're naturally sceptical..."

'If you look carefully you'll see that all the claims are invalid except on alternate Tuesdays in June when Venus is in alignment with Mars.'

'I know what you're up to, and it won't work.' Delbert P. Munson: Spring Fever's toughest nut to crack.

'He's reached his limit with Government health advice.'

"Sunrise, yes -- dawning of a new day may be overstating it."

'Just think-if we floodlight the garden we'll be able to tell the time at NIGHT too!'

'Those humans are crazy if they think that we would join them in the hot sun.'

How to Avoid Spring Fever

"I think I just felt the first snowflake of winter."

Heat reduction.

"I can't wait to complain about the heat again."

"Of course I don't want to visit the land of the rising sun. This is supposed to be a vacation."

"I don't care how hot it is, Tom. What did I tell you about the sun-shade?"

"So, always remember to bring your fat guy inside when temperatures are above 70 degrees. And, also remember that I am not only the spokesman and advocate, but I am also a fat guy. Thank you."