Seasonal Sunshine Skeptic Pillows

"It's chirp, chirp, chirp time again, isn't it?"

"I don't believe in you!"

'I hate all holidays!'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

Contradictory Phil

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"

"It'h thnowing. . .me no like thnow in thpring. . . "

'Houston..Er..I don't know how to tell you this..'

"Personally, I don't trust weathermen. They change their story every day!"

Snow days are overrated. True that. Texting is impossible in mittens!

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- What are you running for?'

"It's a bit overrated really isn't it?"

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

"When Santa went electric they either diversified or got furloughed."

"I don't think he believes I've been a good little boy. He told me to go home and go to my room."

"I'm just saying we might be jumping the gun just a tiny bit on the outside seating."

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

"I ran out of vacation days, so I didn't fly south this winter."

"You know if I've been naughty or nice? Do you have my phone tapped?

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

'I refuse to accept that it's really winter until the very last leaf's fallen from the trees'

"The interrogation was brutal, but the bright lights really helped relieve my seasonal affective disorder."

"My God, do you realize the year's half over?"

Wrong Side of the equator.

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

Collateral Santa

"I hate the beach. The minute you go into the water your phone gets ruined."

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

'Nothing. Turn off the porch light.'