Seasonal Scribe Gifts

"Mr De Winter, please! How am I supposed to portrait you if you keep doing this?"

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Eco-Anxiety For All Seasons

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

A guide to seasons in the North East

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Easter Egg Delivery

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

Girl - 'How come they're not affecting you, mister?!' Man - 'Simple, I'm using 'Writer's Block'.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"Regarding your letter of next Monday ... "

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

"You've got to learn to let go."

'Anyone else seeing a pattern here?'

"Remember last October when you had on your autumn colors and we were hugging like this? And that tiny chipmunk jumped on my face? That was nuts!"

"So basically, it's an autobiomeoirography!"

A writer goes sailing.

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

"Did you get some work done?"

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

Spring/Summer/Winter

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

'Miss Cole hung it right next to Eddie Doan's sun.'

Doctor Jekyll as a child.

Rudolph is at bar speaking to a patron-'So he asks me if I'll pull his sleigh and I'm like-'Not until I get that backpay you owe me fatso!' '

Woman and books.

"I'm kinda over all this snow. . . I'm ready for spring."

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"