Seasonal Drinker Gifts

"We were looking for suitable human DNA to help save our species from extinction but we got sidetracked by your huge selection of seasonal coffees."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"Happy Gnu Year!"

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

The Reaper's Arms

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"Devi's brew?"

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Fall on a desert island

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Is your glass half full or half empty? Who cares, fill her up!

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

Wine at the Bar

People of the Fall

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

Basic Instinct

"It's her first snowman."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."