Seasonal Debater Gifts

"Don't you think you run the risk of offending someone."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'It's a snow mobile.'

"I love this time of year."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

"When I was a teenager 'Saturday Night Live' had Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman..."

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

Christmas Socks

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

"Did you get some work done?"

The Four Seasonings.

Snowman arriving home to his Refrigerator Home

Snowing

"Not exactly a snowman!"

'Didn't I tell you I could find carrots even in winter?'

'You got a problem with that call? Do ya, Coach? Well I call 'em the way I see 'em!'

A man lies in a hammock under leaves.

"Defending you isn't going to be easy. . . Sana actually started an 'Extremely cruel, stupid and psychotic kid' list especially for you."