Seasonal Debater Gifts

"Don't you think you run the risk of offending someone."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

'It's a snow mobile.'

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

"I love this time of year."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

"When I was a teenager 'Saturday Night Live' had Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman..."

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen in: Changing Seasons. Does life affirm with coming fall? Leaved hit the ground, men huddle. Smashing each other over a ball. Wrestling around in a puddle. Huh? In this potpourri of hulky sights, one image is hardly the least, sir. So many changes, so many nights ... to see Eli Manning's keister. The bard of NY Giants football. Beautiful. Disgusting.

"Did you get some work done?"

Santa's Second Stringers.

Christmas Socks

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

The Four Seasonings.

"Defending you isn't going to be easy. . . Sana actually started an 'Extremely cruel, stupid and psychotic kid' list especially for you."

Snowing

'Didn't I tell you I could find carrots even in winter?'

It's so nice outside I'm recording the Weather Channel to watch next winter!

"Not exactly a snowman!"

'You got a problem with that call? Do ya, Coach? Well I call 'em the way I see 'em!'

A man lies in a hammock under leaves.