Seasick Sailor Pillows

'I once quit being a sailor because I couldn't stand the ship's up and down but nowadays, I become even more seasick...'

Captain in a storm

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

Drunken singers in a public house

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

"Miss Jones, cancel my 3:30pm"

Baggage thrown from The Relation-Ship

'Because I don't want you to be part of the decision - making process, that's why!'

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

"What are you yelling at me for? You're the one at the tiller."

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

"Folsom's seasick, sir."

'Out anniversary was yesterday.'

'You'll turn into a butterfly.'

'What type of line are you using?'

Bad sea-legs

'You didn't go down with shi-ip! You didn't go down with the shi-ip!'

'Yeah, I guess I have kind of let it go.'

'You decided not to join the navy because you get seasick?'

'Hold you horses! I'm just getting to the good part!'

'You're so lucky, sea creatures only get savoury food, never sweet...'

'Just keep howling till we get to the dock Ben.'

"Sorry about your boat. Who do I see about personal injury compensation?"

'Sailing, it's a sport that doesn't float my boat.'

'If they sing row, row, row your boat one more time, I'm jumping ship!'

Antonis Samaras

"Just give me the exact date you enlisted, and I can do your naval chart."

"The captain says we have to stay up here until we start acting like real pirates and learn our jobs."