Skeptical Sailor Pillows

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

Captain in a storm

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

"Nihilistic rage motivates me to cling desperately to this job."

"We're luckier than most people..."

"Too long at sea, I'm afraid."

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

The End of the Internet

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

'Sam's not really a seafaring man but he can yo-ho-ho with the best of them.'

'Of course I know how to read the water, but I my glasses fell overboard.'

No Money

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

"I guess I can’t prove I exist either."

GREENLAND

'Out anniversary was yesterday.'

"I don't believe the liberal weather media!"

"Turn 15 degrees Leo... Oh, sorry. Wrong chart."

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

'Hold you horses! I'm just getting to the good part!'

Franken-Cat

"Do you believe in predestination?"

101 uses of a dead cat: life ring

"Thanks all the same, but I'm heading west."

There is a new Reaper in town

"Good, I can feel a slight breeze..."

'He's got it made, Derek - I know men who'd pay good money to get trampled on all over like that!'

"Sorry about your boat. Who do I see about personal injury compensation?"

"This is the patient, doctor..."