Seamstress Safety Gifts

"It's a beginner's sewing kit I put together for you. There's scissors, needles, bandaids, gauze, antiseptic. . ."

I quilt therefore I am

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Cricket Accidents.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Arts and crafts

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

Purple dress

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

Sew on a sequin!

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

'My horoscope says I'm due for a surprise today.'

A case of runaway forklift Doctor. Do we offer him any compensation?

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

First Aid Box

A tailor measuring a large man

"Is there a seamstress present?"

Harps and Embroidery.

Playing in the park....child on a leash.

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

"...And now step 2 disconnect power before plugging in..."

Great Moments in Computer History: Betsy Ross sews the first bar code.