Seamstresses Gifts

Surgeon using a sewing kit.

Common error # 5 made by novices using a computer to make a sewing pattern: putting the thread directly into the disk drive.

I quilt therefore I am

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'Can you play something the dog doesn't know?'

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Arts and crafts

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

Purple dress

Sew on a sequin!

No Bruch!

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

"We can't agree on a size."

Violinist.

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

"Is there a seamstress present?"

A tailor measuring a large man

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

"And here's one I made up called 'Mama's Last Nerve.'"

"I don’t understand why they aren’t happy, we give them challenging, demanding work and let them do it 80 hours a week!"

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

"What's ticking away in your filing system?"

Harps and Embroidery.