Seamstresses Gifts

Surgeon using a sewing kit.

Common error # 5 made by novices using a computer to make a sewing pattern: putting the thread directly into the disk drive.

I quilt therefore I am

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'Can you play something the dog doesn't know?'

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Arts and crafts

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Purple dress

Sew on a sequin!

'I need it in a size two for now and a size five for when I put on my rebound weight.'

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

No Bruch!

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"We can't agree on a size."

Violinist.

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

A tailor measuring a large man

"Is there a seamstress present?"

Harps and Embroidery.

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

"I don’t understand why they aren’t happy, we give them challenging, demanding work and let them do it 80 hours a week!"

"What's ticking away in your filing system?"

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

"And here's one I made up called 'Mama's Last Nerve.'"