Stress Sassers Gifts

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

Surfing the daily stress

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

Run, Mike, Run!

"How much is this going to cost me?"

'He struggles with having to do his own marketing.'

'My work-lifestyle balance is shot, I'm either working or I'm dead!'

'You need some stress.'

"What's ticking away in your filing system?"

Neverending Task.

'You must adopt a healthy lifestyle to work here because you'll have to sweat a lot of blood.'

'My life is around here somewhere.'

Falling profits.

"Oh no, those aren't recharging stations for phones. We have those there so physicians can get themselves recharged!"

"Let's stop for a second while my assistant brings me a stiff drink."

"You can see him now. His meds just kicked in."

Health warning - This job will lead you to drink.

'This is your new office.'

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

Psychiatry. Why do you feel you're living on borrowed time? Because time is money!

'Doctor Moore?' This is Fretz! Look, it's 30 below!...

'Creepy, yes. But on the other hand, he's never missed a deadline.'

"They all remind me of cloud computing. I really need a mental health day."

"It could be a false negative Maybe I should take the test again."

'I'm a mongoose. I fight and kill cobras, and you ask me why I'm stressed?'

Skunk to psychologist: 'It doesn't do me any good to stop and smell the roses.'

'Poor Jenkins passed on. He worked here for 42 years, he never called in sick and he always worked overtime. What an idiot.'

AcmeVending 'Getting you through the hectic day!': Coffee, Tea, Hot Chocolate, Antidepressant.

"Why did I come in here?"

James never left his bed, seeing nothing but danger in the financial world.

"When did your shift start?" - "February!"

'The endless forms, the long wait, the cost, problems with your insurance...that WAS the stress test, Mr Phizby.'

An Off Day