Seals Gifts

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'Practical joke amongst elephant-seals.'

'In our day, we had to squeeze rubber balls on horns with our mouths to hear music.'

'Which colony do you belong to buddy?'

Seal hunting.

"My promotion case went through: I'll get two fish per trick now..."

"Seacircus set me free, and let me keep my ball."

At Whelkaholics

Sea Link, Seal Ink

'Freedom is nice, but I miss the Circus for the applause and the three square meals a day...'

'I will never cease to be amazed at how deftly she balances the demands of career and family.'

"You know, sometimes I don't think of us so much as dealers in stocks and bonds as dealers in dreams."

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

'Why can't you collect shells like the other kids?'

"Well thank you, and may I say you look quite handsome too..."

'What do you MEAN this IS the show?!! Let me see the tickets!'

"The boss loves the positive feedback he gets every time he says something."

"The cultural appropriation is annoying, but the herring is delicious!"

A seal is riding atop a great white shark!

Official Seal

Save our seals - "I doubt my little vote will make any difference."

"The cultural appropriation is annoying but the herring is delicious."

Seals on Wheels

Eric knew where all the real slappers hang out.

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

'Mom, Dad, what do you mean, I'm adopted?'

People of Courage

'No matter how many times I beat these guys they still don't take me serious.'

"Don't worry, I never get the jokes either, but if you clap your flippers, he'll throw you a fish..."

"I better up your dosage to two baby seals."

"It's elephants who never forget. Elephant seals forget all the time."

'I spend my summers at the beach too, as well as my winters, springs and autumns...'

'He's at this awkward teenage stage when your body doesn't grow evenly...'

Ok, I know a sarcastic slow clap when I hear one.