Scruffy Chic Stylist Pillows

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

'What's holding him up?'

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Doulton Canada Geese

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

'Wow - My kind of man.'

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

'Gee, Doc; why the long face?'

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

"Does the phone in my back pocket make my butt look too big?"

"I want my back-to-school clothes to be stylish yet practical...comfortable yet rugged...something that says Gracie Bermudez!"

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

Cactus Man.

"I just had these linen scrubs dry-cleaned!"

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?

'I think you'd look pretty good in a bun.'

Man with curly moustache and eyebrows.

"I'm alright, it's my hair...I need more hairspray."

Monks haircutting with compasses

"Aren't you worried that I may be a serial killer..?"

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"And which solar system are you from?"

Barnyard wigs.

"I think we both know it's time for the groomer."

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble down the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

"How would you like to wake up with that every morning?"

The grim reaper tries on new clothes

'You twit, French poodles are supposed to look pompous!'