Shrubbery Stylist Pillows

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

Doing the borders.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

'What's holding him up?'

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Redecorating Easter Island.

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'Wow - My kind of man.'

"I opted for the upgrades."

Duchess of Cambridge

A topiary doghouse

The Burbs

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

"I just had these linen scrubs dry-cleaned!"

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

"I knew there would be a time I could wear them without destroying my feet."

Decorator Farming

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?

'I think you'd look pretty good in a bun.'

"Peter went in last Sunday to prune...but I haven't seen him since"

Topiary chair.

Man with curly moustache and eyebrows.

"They're all in fashion this time of year - just pick one!"

"You have no idea how long it takes him to wash his hair."

"I hope I don't get any tanning lines."

'Forget it, I don't support them anymore.'

"Aren't you worried that I may be a serial killer..?"

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"And which solar system are you from?"

Barnyard wigs.

The grim reaper tries on new clothes