Shrub Stylist Pillows

A topiary doghouse

Topiary chair.

'You're not CAPABILITY Brown, are you?'

Doing the borders.

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'What's holding him up?'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

Redecorating Easter Island.

The Organic

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

'You've taken that handlebar mustache too far.'

Facial hair continental drift.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

'It's good that you're taking vitamins... but you need to stop BUTTERING them.'

The Burbs

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

"I just had these linen scrubs dry-cleaned!"

Decorator Farming

'Wow, you got Bob! Lucky you, he's definitely the best shearer around!'

A Gardener's Self-Portrait

'Short back and sides please'

"Well, from what I heard, he was a dog-groomer before he became a shearer..."

Topiary chicken lays an egg.

"Peter went in last Sunday to prune...but I haven't seen him since"

"Please excuse him...interns always worry patients don't think they're real doctors!"

"You have no idea how long it takes him to wash his hair."

'Forget it, I don't support them anymore.'

'Shaving takes years off you.'

'Sarah, meet my carpool - mouth wash, hair spray and after shave.'

Good Hair Day

"I hope I don't get any tanning lines."

Surgery.

"They're all in fashion this time of year - just pick one!"