Scripture Buffs Gifts

"This is a hard hat area."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Meet the scribe"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'Are we there yet?'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"Believe me it's only an apple."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Caption Contest TK

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'Look man, no wings!'

Bible Bloopers

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'Even More Disciples'

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"But Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."