Scripture Buffs Gifts

"This is a hard hat area."

"Meet the scribe"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

TSA Noah

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'Are we there yet?'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Caption Contest TK

Bible Bloopers

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'Look man, no wings!'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

'Even More Disciples'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'