Scripted Comedy Lovers Gifts

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Life is for the birds.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Lesser known greek gods,

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

'What's the big deal about acid rain? Can't we just make alkaline rain to counteract it?'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Stairlift around cliff face.

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

The First Fire Stick

'I said you're next, Hibblemeyer. . . Hibblemeyer!'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

Divine Desk Bins

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."