Script Memorizer Pillows

"Page 33, line 4..."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Where was I?

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

Hollywood producer.

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

Eugene Ionesco

Pi fight!

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

Dear Diary

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Amnesia Clinic: "Take one of these pills whenever you remember to."

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

"Whatta you mean 'minor script changes?' It's supposed to be a western."

"I play the husband, but am promised a speaking part next time."

'The great thing about string theory is that it ties up quite a few loose ends.'

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

"For his next picture, my client wants creative control, script approval, and a percentage of the gross. Is that clear?"

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

Subtitles for the Stupid

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

Writer's Strike

Write a Screenplay