Script Learner Pillows

I can't remember the last time I had to memorize something

'They all want to play the star.'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

Hollywood producer.

Hollywood producer.

Athens Playhouse. Euclid is rehearsing a play he wrote about lust, money and lies. Investment Sales Office. Don't be obtuse! Face each other from this angle! He's a tough director. It's surprising that Euclid, the father of geometry, wrote about passion, money and deceit. I thought so too, until I read the script. It's a story about a pyramid scheme and a love triangle!

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

"Great money scenes!"

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

Eugene Ionesco

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Scrip Doctor

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

Woody Allen

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

Dear Diary

"Whatta you mean 'minor script changes?' It's supposed to be a western."

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

Subtitles for the Stupid

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"