Script Lover Pillows

Scrip Doctor

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

Hollywood on Strike

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

"It's a proposal about an idea for a concept."

'Thomas won't stay off the stage. He loves his part in the school play - he's the commercial.'

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

The writing team arrives on set.

"'Goodbye' - is that all I say?"

"Meet the scribe"

'They all want to play the star.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

A pretention of playwrights

Hollywood producer.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Hollywood producer.

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

"Great money scenes!"

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

Eugene Ionesco

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Dear Diary

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

Subtitles for the Stupid

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"