Script Analysis Lover Pillows

"Your script has no character development, Noah. Your protagonist needs to develop. He needs some sort of an arc."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

A pretention of playwrights

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Hollywood producer.

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Hollywood producer.

Eugene Ionesco

"Great money scenes!"

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

Scrip Doctor

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Dear Diary

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

"I don't get it. I'm playing a legendary jazz musician and the director keeps telling me to stick to the script and stop improvising."

Subtitles for the Stupid

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

"I play the husband, but am promised a speaking part next time."

Writer's Strike

Write a Screenplay

Actor looks at script called The Sandi Toksvig Story. He says: 'It's not what I had in mind when I said I wanted to play the Dane.'