Scribe Of Scoops Gifts

'Better not circulate these.'

Great British Eccentrics.

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

LABRADOODLE DOODLE

'They sat in an etape, playing bezique and swilling skookum saloop.'

Psst. Me? Yeah, you. Mort Park – radio journalist. I got a scoop for you. Oh really. First, I gotta know, are you one of those reporters who will go to jail rather than reveal a secret source? Oh, the intrigue is maddening! Can you get lattes in prison?

Waiter, there are tiny bubbles rising to the surface of my clam chowder. Conclusion" there's a flatulent fly in my soup. ? ?

'There's a lamb chop in my soup.' - 'Oh, that's where it got to. It belongs to table six.'

Pooper scoppers.

"Oh, knock it off! It's only cream of asparagus."

"There he goes again! What on earth does he do with it all?!"

'We named him 'Raisin Bran.' Every morning in the litter box, it's two scoops!'

Stock photography

Reporter #4: post box.

"Stop the press... we've got an exclusive press release."

'No comment!'

'Waiter, there are no vowels in my alphabet soup!'

"Just a few questions for our database - Have we stolen from you before?"

"Excuse me, but does it look like I have an extension on this scooper?"

"Well, I think your algorithm is feeding you crap today, John!"

"How will drinking more wine make me an expert? I eat alphabet soup every day and it hasn't made me a better speller."

'I'm attempting to transmute calcium oxide, copper gluconate, manganese sulfate and benzaldenyde into condensed soup.'

'It's Jack's homemade Merlot - care for a scoop?'

'I don't care what you say...I heard him snicker!'

"If someone watched a person walking their dog, then stop to pick up the dog's poop. . . who would they think was in charge?"

Reporters on train, ship, and plane disasters.

'Portnoy, in Lieu of a raise or bonus, I'm giving you these 'instant winner' lottery scratch-off card.'

Salesman Drawing on Sales Chart

"You'll have to wait till we get home, I've run out of bags."

Reporter on a lead.