Scribe Of Scoops Gifts

'Better not circulate these.'

Great British Eccentrics.

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"Honestly, guys, my check is in the mail."

'They sat in an etape, playing bezique and swilling skookum saloop.'

'There's a lamb chop in my soup.' - 'Oh, that's where it got to. It belongs to table six.'

"Oh, knock it off! It's only cream of asparagus."

Pooper scoppers.

"Stop the press... we've got an exclusive press release."

'We named him 'Raisin Bran.' Every morning in the litter box, it's two scoops!'

Reporter #4: post box.

"There he goes again! What on earth does he do with it all?!"

'No comment!'

"Just a few questions for our database - Have we stolen from you before?"

'Waiter, there are no vowels in my alphabet soup!'

"Excuse me, but does it look like I have an extension on this scooper?"

"How will drinking more wine make me an expert? I eat alphabet soup every day and it hasn't made me a better speller."

"Well, I think your algorithm is feeding you crap today, John!"

'I don't care what you say...I heard him snicker!'

'It's Jack's homemade Merlot - care for a scoop?'

'I'm attempting to transmute calcium oxide, copper gluconate, manganese sulfate and benzaldenyde into condensed soup.'

"If someone watched a person walking their dog, then stop to pick up the dog's poop. . . who would they think was in charge?"

'Portnoy, in Lieu of a raise or bonus, I'm giving you these 'instant winner' lottery scratch-off card.'

Salesman Drawing on Sales Chart

Reporters on train, ship, and plane disasters.

"You'll have to wait till we get home, I've run out of bags."

The problem with Scratch N Sniff lottery tickets.

Reporter on a lead.