"It's been so nice getting to interact with you for these past six years. Here's your first device."
Screen Time Scholar Pillows
Add comfort and character to their space with pillows that celebrate screen time scholars with clever, inspiring designs perfect for study or relaxation.
John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.
"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."
"They communicate through clicks and taps."
"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."
Cellphone Islands
A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey
"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""
Digital Fomo!
"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."
"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"
Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.
“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”
Tunnel of TV
"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"
"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."
"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."
"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."
"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"
"This is NOT what I meant when I said you kids could have more screen time."
"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."
"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."
"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."
Oblivious at 20,000 Feet
New hyper-realistic Star Trek
Modern camping
"Kids, look at the weather! Why don't you play outside?"
A bull which has seen red.
Childhood Screen Addict
"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."
A group of people in an art gallery staring at a phone
Children's games and technology
ALMOST SLEEPING BEAUTY
Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.
Free Little Library
Screen Time Scholar Pillows Collection
Screen Time Scholar Mugs
Explore our collection of mugs celebrating screen time scholars, perfect for fueling their day with humor and a caffeine boost.
Screen Time Scholar Prints
Enhance their study space with prints that honor the passion of your screen time scholar with witty, inspiring artwork.
Screen Time Scholar T-Shirts
Find t-shirts that highlight your screen time scholar’s love for digital learning and creativity, adding fun to their wardrobe.