Screen Size Maximizer Gifts

"If you're going to use a TV as your computer monitor, I suggest investing in a new model."

Let's get organized

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

Am Awful Crammer.

STRIP Hambone: Computer armageddon

A woman pops out of a computer screen to clean it.

"The phone takes some effort to unfold completely, but the 24" screen makes it all worthwhile.

'Wow! These advancements in TV make the news even more frightening.'

'Yes, it IS a powerful message....but we're selling dental floss.'

'And I repeat. Live each day as though it were your last.'

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

Gimme a latte, geek. In a sec. I'm watching the end of a tv show on my new cellphone. Look out, Jack! Didn't you just buy a 50-inch plasma?! Is that a man or a tree?

'Oh, look, honey - the master closet has a walk-in bedroom!'

"It's a new travel computer. It fits in your pocket. I suggest bringing your reading glasses."

"These investments aren't without risk. Your mailbox might explode with prospectuses."

"Frank doesn't like to waste a minute of his vacation."

"Only the rich can afford this much nothing."

"Oh, he's been counting sheep-shearing shows."

'When I hired you Curtis, you were a skinny wimp. Are you sure you're not on steroids?'

Community Bed de Luxe

Harold pushed the 25 coffee refills to the limit

The Ekert Saga: 'Ok, girls...we need to get the Ekert back down to reasonable size before it destroys out house...so no more TV, radio, or any other negative energy...'

The AdRams Family no.12 - Telling son to get fresh air

Some jobs are less satisfying than others because they use few of the jobholder's skills and abilities, and the job itself forms only a small part of the finished product.

"It's a new mobile game where you can't take your eyes off the screen. You score points by bumping into things."

'Adjustment of your picture is necessary - call your repairman.'

Blue screen of death

A Hammerhead shark watching two Televisions.

IRS, 'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

The kids watch too many stupid shows. I agree. So let's pull the plug! Which one?

'Never Anything on TV...'

'So, is that a mobile phone or a home theater?'

Thank you for calling airline miles Visa, Mr. Taylor. How can I help you today. I'd like to book ma flight. No problem. I see you've accrued 40,000 points on your Visa - enough to travel anywhere in the U.S. on a Thursday. Thursday? Right. Any Thursday in May. The other days and months are blacked out. Of course, then I have a similar policy. Pardon? Ahem. I will only use my awards card on Thursdays in May. The rest of the days and months are blacked out! You understand you can't win. Somehow I'

'We spend so much time looking at bikes on the Internet, we invested in a bigger monitor.'

'I have your estimated date of death, Mr Wilson, and my advice is to Spend! Spend! Spend!'