Screen-loving Sibling Gifts

Newborns on cell phones

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Dog wearing a cone

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Chasebook

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Separation

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Cat king.

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Cat park"

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Endangered Species - Hardly/Slightly/Extremely.

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

'Is that IT? All this way for just the ONE?'

"The first thing we have to do is get you up there."

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

Olympics create interest in curling.

'Good dog!'