Screen-free Champions Pillows

"I bet you kids are all losing your minds without a wi-fi signal."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Now that's what I call a high definition display.".

View from the Window

"Always give a good, firm handshake...then immediately sanitize your hands."

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

"I'm a stay-at-home mom without kids."

The days before television

"In my day we had trimphones."

Mobile phones vs books

'Yeah, neighborhood crime. That's what I watch all the time 'cause our TV is broken.'

"Our forefathers died to give us our most cherished freedom. The fight to absolutely terrify every dog and cat in the land every 4th of July."

'It's too nice to be inside watching cable! Now, go outside and play on some.'

"Isn't this nice? No screens. Just the majesty of the here and now."

"We're watching television less and making our own fun more."

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

'Why don't you guys go out and play catch?"

Will the last person to quit smoking please empty the ashtray!

"It's summer, go outside and play."

Get Your Head Out Of Your Phone

'What can I say? The Feng Shui in the litter box was off.'

"Mom, I can't take the stress of social media. I'm running away from my home page!"

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet... where the hell am I??"

"It's the latest internet challenge, 30 mins no screen time."

No Smoking/second hand smoke kills.

'Peace at last.'

"Before you put on a nicotine patch you need to take off the old one."

"No, I didn't unplug the TV because there's a national emergency...I want you to play outside."

"You can either stop smoking now or wait until after your cremation."

"Make me feel ashamed of you!"

Welcome to Heaven! Please Leave Your Phone Here. . .