Screen Dwellers Gifts

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

The Art Student.

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

In case of emergency, break glass.

"Because webmasters don't take out the trash, that's why"

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Opening the Barrel

Spooning

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington should write a book about you!"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

"So, how's your scary movie?"

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

The weightless office.

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

Al, The Go-From Guy

"Mom, what's the password to access dad?"

Internet Restaurant

Wine: New & Old!!!

'It's not over till the slim, glamorous crossover lady sings.'

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

"That's our copy cat."

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

'No seriously. His final words actually were, 'If I only had spent more time at the office.''

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

The End of the Worker Bees