Scouting Humorist Gifts

"So, to help us earn our navigation badges, we have attorney Murray Ashworth to guide us through the legal jungle."

"So is this what they mean by 'High Adventure'."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Cat in a tank...

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Alternative fielding positions

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Trojan Hurdler.

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"Getting the hang of it?"

Sloth 10K.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

The Hockey World

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'He migrates through every year about this time. Just sits there and watches. We leave him alone and he leaves us alone...'